The deer must die!
Sometimes as I’m happily jaunting around Azeroth, stopping here and there to herb or mine or unleash vengeance on some random baddie, I will encounter a small, innocent, delicate critter. You know the type – cute critter face, single digit critter level, low critter HP… Awww! Squee!
And at that point one of two things will happen. In the first scenario, the Evil Closet Monkey (or ECM, for short) who lives in my brain will hop out screaming “DESTROY!”, in which case I will tear said critter in twain before skipping off to my next task. This is shockingly often the case on my sweet, tree-hug-giving, nature-loving druid, and always the case on my anarchist fire mage. (My one attempt at semi-role-playing, my alt hunter, is immune to my ECM and only kills sickly gazelles so they won’t infect the rest of the herd.) In the second scenario, presumably while my ECM is off doing other things like sleeping or watching TV or knitting or getting up to whatever ECMs do in their brain-closets, I will get no such mental urge, and then I will pass the critter by with a merry nod of the head.
I’m not really sure why I occasionally feel the need to follow my ECM’s guidance and strike down the innocent. I spend most of my days in WoW endeavoring to stamp out the wicked, or at least the very naughty. But regardless of my overall do-gooder intentions, in-game my ECM has a powerful grip on me.
Occasionally in real life he will pop up, generally to yell fun things like, “Dump your glass of water on the copier!” as I’m passing it, but in real life I have no problem resisting his commands. (Case in point, our work copier still copies, and I have yet to be summoned by my supervisor for a Very Serious Conversation about my habitual need to toss mugs of water onto office appliances.)
I suppose we all have our little in-game irresistable ECMs. And killing critters is better than camping low-levels or perpetually abandoning PuGs mid-instance or spamming Trade chat with [fill-in-the-blank] or, for that matter, destroying company property. In fact, all things considered, my ECM is relatively innocent. For goodness sakes, he knits during his downtime!
So, tell me, what does your ECM have you do in WoW?
Mmmm, I have no ECM. I’m pure evil throughout.
-Kill critters? I’m genocidal.
- I open Portals to remote places after raids, Hope you like Theramore?
- I leave PUGS I hate right when they engage the boss.
- I destroy Tarren Mill nightly
- I teabag everyone I kill.
I think it’s because I wear a dress as a mage, tends to make a guy angry.
Run away! Your ECM has taken over!!!
Perhaps he’ll calm down when he realizes that mages get to wear pants in Ulduar – I have a friend who looks like Kirin Tor Black Ops in his current tier mage getup.
In the meantime, naughty, naughty!
Ah yes. The critter slaughter. Here’s 2 ‘old’ screenshots of my insatiable urge to murder.
Bambi & Friends:
http://officerchat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/bambi.jpg
The slaughter:
http://officerchat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/ungodly-death.jpg
Which is funnier? The fact that I missed on a lvl 1 critter, or that it was Bambi that I missed on, while his mother died in the fire?
Ha!
-Sedge
Wonderful! The fact that you killed Bambi’s mom and missed him is hilarious and well in keeping with the Bambi storyline.
Of course, I hope you then put little Bambs out of his misery – having watched his mother and bestest little friends burn to death, it was probably a kindness to do him in. Of course, the ECM might have you leave him to wander the Grizzly Hills in broken horror…
Critter Killer ECMs unite!
I remember the day I got my first gun on my hunter. I refused for a very long time to use a gun, that’s noisy, ugly, and I’m an elf with a bow… *nod*
But this time, it was such and upgrade. Range weapon is so important to a hunter and I couldn’t find any bow or crossbow. So I took the rifle, after my guildies insisted upon it… But I had the displeasure to discover that my gun’s weapon skill was… 0…
So I headed to Stormwind, bought cheap ammo and headed to that patch of melon field with level 6 boars. And I entered in a frantic killing frenzy : those boars repop faster than you can kill then with a one shot every 3 secondes (which is roughtly the speed of the rifle).
I took a screenshot… http://picasaweb.google.fr/nefernet.krasus/Fun#5321991039734682786
See the little yellow dots on the minimap ? More boars repoping ! Yeah ! \o/
And usually, seeing my killing critters in dungeons or raid can mean two things : 1- I’m happy and excited and running everywhere followed by my dog, and I need to kill something instead of ninjapulling the trash or the boss, 2- I’m angry and impatient with the RL being overlong to explain or someone is disconnected and I need to kill something instead of ninjapulling the trash or the boss…
And when I’m stressed, I often go farm some mammoth meat, just killing mammoths for half an hour again and again… The worst being when I realize that I farmed for 20 minutes with raiding ammo… T_T Expensive farming… No wonder I’m so poor…
Otherwise, I’m quite pacific…
*look sidewise*
Wasn’t that a mammoth ?
*bing*
*loot mammoth*
*cook mammoth cutters*
*grin*
Good lord! The mind boggles at the sheer quantities of pork, surely enough to feed all of Stormwind! I like that the Critter Killer in you most emerges when happy or impatient…just like a proper ECM.
I am not a critter-killer but now she’s 80 M’Pocket Tank is obsessed with TAUNTING them to death. So she doesn’t even attack them, she just runs past, mumurs “you suck” and they’re so heartbroken they just die. It’s tragic.
…And so the cycle of life continues, as it must.
[...] Wildgrowth just makes me giggle. [...]