Gathering mats for Tazha’s engineering bonanza wasn’t all fun, games, and endless node farming. While flying over Icecrown, Tazha spotted a small group of critters that had clearly been abandoned by their fellows. Recognizing from repeated viewings of Wallace and Gromit that penguins are often much more than they seem, she proceeded to watch the cluster as they waddled around on the ice, forlorn and aimless. They were certainly a miserable little bunch right now, but with the right leader they could be a force for trouble all over Azeroth. Tazha decided that she was that leader. She flew down and proceeded to coax the critters into her employ by proffering small bits of fried meat on sticks. As any Northrend guide will tell you, a gentle and friendly local critter which has eaten of fried flesh (Critter Bites) will become a feral minion of evil, ready to do anything for the master willing to supply more of the meat (much like most humans and bacon.) Soon Tazha had a veritable army of eager evildoers awaiting her command:
Tazha hastened to send her new Army of Evil Penguins off to do her biding, causing chaos and uproar all across the land. Some of their duties included:
- Drinking the dregs from the Half-Empty Wine Glasses and thus preventing helpful Dalaran citizens from bringing Glowergold his cheese platter.
- Hopping a portal and then a boat ride to Kalimdor and then making their way to the Barrens. There, they proceeded to play peekaboo with surprised and confused lowbie Hordies, who would turn to their fellows and say, “Did you just see a penguin? There – behind that kodo – there it is again! Dammit!”, before being dismissed as crazy.
- Eating the coins in the Dalaran fountain.
- Collecting armies of Murloc babies and using them to fight epic Murloc baby battles in front of the fortress in Wintergrasp during PvP times.
- Riding on gnomes’ heads.
This, of course, was just the beginning of their trouble-making. Other plans involve dismemberment and/or mechanical trousers and therefore could not be detailed in a public blog.
Needless to say, though, now that Tazha has an Army of Evil Penguins on her side, she is nigh unstoppable. Yogg-Saron, be warned! Right now, the penguins are merely causing a Minor Nuisance around Azeroth, but soon…all too soon…The Penguins Come For You!