The shared topic over on Blog Azeroth this week is, essentially, nostalgia for old WoW…go! And while I do enjoy a good romp down memory lane (as long as I also firmly remember why I’m glad to be here-and-now, as well), thinking about old WoW has made me think about my little holy priest, who finally just hit Northrend shores this week at level 68. Hooray! Leveling her through Outland, however, brought up a good number of blush-filled memories of leveling other casters through Outland due to the major issue I encountered there – caster gear is jaw-droppingly skimpy.
When you first arrive in the blazing heat of Honor Hold, you are trotted off to do a number of quests that immediately grant you better gear than anything you may have brought from earlier WoW travels. One of these is a pair of “pants” with excellent stats. Upon swapping out your comfy cloth leggings, however, it may surprise you to learn that you are now being protected by nothing more than a pair of bikini bottoms. They cover some (not all) of one’s posterior and generally leave the rest hanging in the wind. Which is, frankly, a little embarrassing, especially if you, like myself and Edna Mode, have a firm and only occasionally breakable “no capes” rule. (This goes hand-in-hand with my “no full-coverage helms” rule – I paid top coin for those braids, and I intend to see them!) And while I understand that the Outland is a warm place, using only a tiny measure of cloth as protection against all the orcs amassed over at Hellfire Citadel seems a bit extreme. Surely there is some sort of breathable fabric they could use that would allow full leg coverage? Or, at the very least, cargo pants?
So my female dwarf priest ran through Outland for at least 8 levels with her ass exposed to the world. Since I’m not crazy about guild tabards, which only seem to accentuate the fact that she’s not wearing pants, the only real help I found for this was speccing shadow and hanging about in Shadowform, which allowed me to create the illusion that she was, in fact, wearing pants – they were just made of purple mist. Every possible chestpiece quest reward that she could justifiably take, she did, but in every case I discovered too late with cries of horror that they were all tunics which left her legs quite bare. There was a brief moment of excitement in Blade’s Edge when I thought that I had found her some replacement pants. I even made the mistake of announcing my joy to WoW-friends…only to discover that these pants, too, weren’t pants at all, but rather another pair of bikini bottoms.
Now, I’m not opposed to sexy-looking toons or showing a bit of skin (my mage flashes her midriff quite happily every day), but I do feel a bit ridiculous sending my priest to attack mobs in what amounts to her underwear. Especially since she’s covered in armor from chin to navel on the top half, including heirloom shoulders that look like enormous ram skulls. Perhaps the hope is that the enemy will be so shocked that they will pause for a moment, allowing me a few more seconds for DoTs and Mind Flays and whatnot? Either way, it concerns me when “wedgies” are the first thing that comes to mind when seeing my priest from behind. And God forbid I had rolled a male caster! I’m surprised that I didn’t run into more men dashing about Outland protected by nothing more than a stat-enhanced banana hammock. (Or maybe Blizzard is kinder to gentlemen and the bikini bottoms turn into actual pants on them?)
Thankfully, I only had to kill a few Vyrkul in my undies in Northrend yesterday before a full-length gown dropped off of one of them, and my priest was immediately able to cover her shame. But still, the 8 levels of ass-watching is enough to make a girl stick to making plate-wearers for her alts…my short-lived DK never had this issue.