The shared topic over on Blog Azeroth this week is, essentially, nostalgia for old WoW…go! And while I do enjoy a good romp down memory lane (as long as I also firmly remember why I’m glad to be here-and-now, as well), thinking about old WoW has made me think about my little holy priest, who finally just hit Northrend shores this week at level 68. Hooray! Leveling her through Outland, however, brought up a good number of blush-filled memories of leveling other casters through Outland due to the major issue I encountered there – caster gear is jaw-droppingly skimpy.
When you first arrive in the blazing heat of Honor Hold, you are trotted off to do a number of quests that immediately grant you better gear than anything you may have brought from earlier WoW travels. One of these is a pair of “pants” with excellent stats. Upon swapping out your comfy cloth leggings, however, it may surprise you to learn that you are now being protected by nothing more than a pair of bikini bottoms. They cover some (not all) of one’s posterior and generally leave the rest hanging in the wind. Which is, frankly, a little embarrassing, especially if you, like myself and Edna Mode, have a firm and only occasionally breakable “no capes” rule. (This goes hand-in-hand with my “no full-coverage helms” rule – I paid top coin for those braids, and I intend to see them!) And while I understand that the Outland is a warm place, using only a tiny measure of cloth as protection against all the orcs amassed over at Hellfire Citadel seems a bit extreme. Surely there is some sort of breathable fabric they could use that would allow full leg coverage? Or, at the very least, cargo pants?
So my female dwarf priest ran through Outland for at least 8 levels with her ass exposed to the world. Since I’m not crazy about guild tabards, which only seem to accentuate the fact that she’s not wearing pants, the only real help I found for this was speccing shadow and hanging about in Shadowform, which allowed me to create the illusion that she was, in fact, wearing pants – they were just made of purple mist. Every possible chestpiece quest reward that she could justifiably take, she did, but in every case I discovered too late with cries of horror that they were all tunics which left her legs quite bare. There was a brief moment of excitement in Blade’s Edge when I thought that I had found her some replacement pants. I even made the mistake of announcing my joy to WoW-friends…only to discover that these pants, too, weren’t pants at all, but rather another pair of bikini bottoms.
Now, I’m not opposed to sexy-looking toons or showing a bit of skin (my mage flashes her midriff quite happily every day), but I do feel a bit ridiculous sending my priest to attack mobs in what amounts to her underwear. Especially since she’s covered in armor from chin to navel on the top half, including heirloom shoulders that look like enormous ram skulls. Perhaps the hope is that the enemy will be so shocked that they will pause for a moment, allowing me a few more seconds for DoTs and Mind Flays and whatnot? Either way, it concerns me when “wedgies” are the first thing that comes to mind when seeing my priest from behind. And God forbid I had rolled a male caster! I’m surprised that I didn’t run into more men dashing about Outland protected by nothing more than a stat-enhanced banana hammock. (Or maybe Blizzard is kinder to gentlemen and the bikini bottoms turn into actual pants on them?)
Thankfully, I only had to kill a few Vyrkul in my undies in Northrend yesterday before a full-length gown dropped off of one of them, and my priest was immediately able to cover her shame. But still, the 8 levels of ass-watching is enough to make a girl stick to making plate-wearers for her alts…my short-lived DK never had this issue.
Oo, I’m getting a flashback now to the deadly borer leggings — and the cruel person at Blizzard who made them pretty much best in slot from level 71-79.
Yet at least those offered some butt support! (Even if they did leave one looking as if she were about to explode out of her pants at the barely-together seams…) I see the trick was to run Blood Furnace, which I did not do with my little priest.
And while I was unable with a quick internet search to find the initial cause of my modesty crisis, I was able to find the Blade’s Edge continuation of my trials in the form of Metro’s Slimming Leggings. “Slimming”, indeed! Note how on the screenshots they appear to be normal pants on a guy, but switch to the girl and you’re left with bikini bottoms.
/sigh 🙂
Ah, the pain of ridiculous outfits… something that united all casters in those days. I’m pretty sure you were referring to the so-called “Wanderer’s Stitched Trousers” (http://www.wowhead.com/?item=29928) by the way, I remember them all to well. And yes, the males had their butts covered, lucky gits!
I think that was them! You found them! And *angry roar* for the fact that all the men in wowhead.com in these pictures appear to be wearing actual trousers. Lucky gits, indeed!
Err, I mean 61-69
Oh dear! I’m sorry, I giggled, I sympathized but I giggled so much. I really wouldn’t like to be running through those platoons of hulking hellboars with my arse hanging out like a tasty snack.
The situation in Outland is not quite as bad for men, although it’s still far from great. My cow druid is wearing what is laughingly termed a “war kilt” – yes, it’s a skirt, a big, stripy skirt. He just needs a rolling pin to look like mother. Thank God he spends most of his life as a tree.
And the prettiest elf has recently run into the horror of a sky blue Lycra bodysuit. It does, at least, cover his bum but, really, it leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination and he looks like he’s late for his aerobics class.
So glad to have been a source of amusement. 🙂 To be honest, in between my worry over wedgies and disapproving trash mobs, I had a fair number of blushing giggles as well.
The same giggles that I’m now having imagining the Prettiest Elf in a sky blue Lycra bodysuit…I think it’s picture time, sir!
Female plate armour wearers don’t have it much better, I’m afraid. Allow me to draw your attention to this post.
I was lucky enough that Calli had the full Netherwind set going into Outland and the 8-piece set bonus (and the set itself) was so awesome that I didn’t need to upgrade anything until about level 77/78. Those pants were just hideous! Aluriel, my priest, wasn’t so lucky. She wore the clownsuit for at least 8 levels.
Ye gods! Even plate wearing females are stuffed into bottom-less chaps?! Okay, Blizzard definitely has some “issues”.
Maybe mail wearers? Maybe they are allowed to keep their buttocks properly hidden? *hopeful, naive looks around at the room*
In my experience playing all armor types through normal and TBC, cloth and plate had it worst. That black mageweave style of cloth “legs” is especially annoying popping up repeatedly in Outlands. Some mail and leather (low-level mainly) is also quite revealing but at higher levels it wasn’t as bad as the other two.
What made me smirk was that some Sha’tar rewards were of the awful kind of clothies and tincans. Chestplate of A’dal? Pants of the Naaru? I guess floaty spirits of Light need no concept of modesty, but really!
mail’s iffy. there are quite a few pieces that are nothing more than a pair of boy shorts. or some that leave the butt covered but expose the crotch.
i think i know what the problem is. most of this revealing armor’s desiged by lonely guys who haven’t gotten laid in earthmother-knows-how-long.
Hrm. Disappointing on the mail side as well, I take it. One, of course, hopes that the stereotype is incorrect (and certainly Northrend’s armor design has at least given a passing nod to the cold weather and allowed for some cover-ups, so perhaps any actually lovelorn game designers have found True Happiness in the interim), but still…
I so loathe the skimpy “armor” … I want to play an adventurer, a fierce and grim ancient druid, a feisty dwarf, whatever. NOT a walking wanking aid. Every time I picked up a new piece of loot and saw it was basically lingery, I wanted to chop some Blizzard guy’s unnamables off. Every time I saw a piece of armor that looked great on a guy and like two stamps and a bit of string on a gal? Likewise. Grr! Thank goodness for tabards and shirts, they saved more than one character’s dignity. Mostly.
I’m very glad the Wrath stuff actually looks like proper armor on women as well as men. I suppose even said Blizzard guys thought it may look too silly to have the female characters flounce through snow and ice in bikinis and underwear.
And Tam, I too and that pic of the Prettiest Elf in his aerobic suit. 😉 The way you described it made me laugh and I need that at the moment.
I agree – I like that I am playing a death-wielder or life-giver, not someone you would assume was late to a beer commercial shoot. And the disparity between the gentlemen and the ladies attire…grrr, indeed. Where are the corresponding banana hammocks? Must the ladies be the only ones covered in blushes from here to Howling Fjord?
Really, I feel your pain of horrible leg designs. I just realized how my T8.5 is looking like a beach-outfit, with a Dalaran tank top and some matching shorts.
I could feel my mage pride wither away and die while staring at it. Ah well. Not too long until next patch and new tier.
My pally and I both agree – tier gear that looks like shorts makes one look like a ragamuffin.
Blizzard, please repeat after me:
“I will not make female toons wear anything that makes them look like an extra in a [insert-race-here] production of either ‘Oliver’ or ‘Beach Blanket Bingo’.”
kthxbye. 😀
A comment alone was not enough to capture my two copper on the pantie predicament! (http://hotstree.blogspot.com/2009/08/excuse-me-but-have-you-seen-my-pants.html)
Brilliant! I particularly enjoy how your toon does not appear to be wearing a shirt, but rather merely leather suspenders, thereby giving the impression of a Keira-Knightley-in-“King Arthur”-style outfit. 😉
The pain of “no pants” goes back to even Vanilla WoW, I see…